Hobbes The Science Crab

From altgothic
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Hobbes the Science Crab is a small crustacean who assists Erithromycin in discovering and certifying scientific facts. There have in fact been several generations of Hobbeses. The first Hobbes went missing in action at the Whitby Gothic Weekend in October 2003, and was celebrated in the Song of Hobbes.


The Song of Hobbes[edit]

Hobbes, Hobbes, the Science Crab,

He is a crab who does science,

He reads all of the gothic newsgroups

And ensures non top-posting compliance.


Hobbes, Hobbes, the science crab

Gives naughty posters a nip.

He makes sure that they shorten their .sigs

And he teaches those fuckwits to snip.


Hobbes, Hobbes, the science crab

Owns several iron dildo refineries

He uses their products to

Punish people who dare misuse binaries.


Hobbes, Hobbes, the science crab,

He built an eighth level in Hell;

There he sends the souls of those

Who dare post in html.